Love is a lesson you learn your entire life.
It comes in many forms – but each iteration has a certain commonality or feel.
Like notes in a musical scale, different types of love play off each other. Harmonies help us define how this love differs from that love and how those loves differ from these loves.
Sometimes two (or three!) loves overlap, creating a new thing that you also love.
Sometimes one love gets quiet so another love can solo, and sometimes the whole thing devolves into noise.
Essentially, you’re navigating something intangible, willing it in to existence – for better or worse – simply by participating.
Of love’s many forms – romantic, familial, food-based – I find friendship to be the most underrated, and also the most mysterious.
Part of this mystery stems from my growing sense that friendships are so often a matter of perspective. Marriage and family are defined under the law (albeit poorly), whereas food can (and, perhaps, should) often feel down-right spiritual.
Friendship, meanwhile, is something of an island – and almost always optional. It is not inherently monogamous, nor polygamous. No vows are exchanged, and unless you’re friends with Tekashi 69, the government rarely gets involved.
Friendship’s only defining feature seems to be that it is entirely unique to the individuals involved. And like other forms of love, no two friendships are exactly alike.
This year, I have lost some friends but gained more than one person really deserves.
Like dating, you realize over time what you like, what makes you happy – and more importantly what doesn’t. You learn what sort of songs you want to hear, but also what songs you want to play.
Four years ago, two of my all-time favourite songs picked me up at the airport and helped me start a new life.
Tomorrow, one of those songs is getting a similar start at that same airport. I am so unbelievably happy for him, and so unbelievably in love with our soon-to-be-long-distance friendship.
Love is a lesson you learn your entire life, but if you’re lucky you start to figure it out.
I like to think we have.